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Winter Storm Juno Coverage

Just when you thought winter in New England might not suck that much this year, Winter Storm Juno has reared its ugly head. We’re here at Buntology Waltham HQ, hunkered down and watching the sky shit snow sideways as we work to bring you the latest coverage of this HISTORIC WINTER STORM. 

winter storm juno

Monday Afternoon (1/26)
Apparently a historic blizzard is just hours away from engulfing New England and its surrounding areas. I had no idea about the storm until my twin called me from Florida–where she is stranded–to tell me about it, which is kind of ironic. And you know what a winter storm means: grocery store lines are growing, television is getting more fear-mongery, etc.

As folks run around Market Basket to stock up on plastic tubs of Party Mix, I’ll be at home holding down the fort. Aka preparing several varieties of dehydrated chips to enjoy throughout the evening / tomorrow.

Monday, 8pm (1/26)
Dan and I are playing a drinking game to The Bachelor where you drink 1 every time a girl says something is “amazing”; drink 2 every time they cry; drink 3 every time they kiss Chris. So basically get wasted.

As Cindy the Cruise Ship Singer starts tearfully revealing that “guy’s haven’t always been that nice” to her, school closings are flashing across the screen. “That bitch needs to go on Match.com, not this dumb-ass show.” – Dan

YES! More tears!!! Drink 2, bitch.

Monday, 10pm (1/26)
Weather guy on Channel 5 is giving it to us pretty straight. I like this guy and his no-fucks-given attitude. Apparently the storm is going to go from midnight tonight until this time tomorrow night. Yes! Now Dan will have to work from home for an extra day and can pay even more attention to me!!!

Why is this woman doing sign language so vigorously? Chill, mama, chiiiill.

elsa smokes joint
The one thing that could make Anna a little cooler…

OK, is the name of the storm Winter Storm 2015 or is it Winter Storm Juno? And if it is Winter Storm Juno, why did we name our first storm of the year after a quirky, coming-of-age movie about teen pregnancy starring Ellen Page?

Speaking of quirky, coming-of-age films, my roommate and I decided to put on Frozen because, well, weather stuff. And I’d never seen it. You know what? Not that good. I mean the songs were obviously epic, but the movie had an uncomfortable amount of sexual undertones, the plot was super thin, and I felt like the creators were pandering to my age group with their Zooey Deschanel, quirky-personality-type Anna character. It was all a little too hipster for me.

Tuesday AM (1/27)
We woke up to a blizzard, just like the weatherman said we would. It’s not that the flakes are so big, they are just so windy. Snow drift like a mother fucker up in here. I am not looking forward to making Dan shovel this.

weather fear mongering

Usually Eastern Mass gets off easy during these things, but today we’re gettin’ slammed right in the poopa’ while Western Mass sits pretty.

Tuesday Afternoon (1/27)
I wish this storm was a little more exciting. Like, something drastic enough to allow me and my cohorts the rest of the week off and we somehow get our hands on a lifetime supply of Cheetos and that’s the only thing we’re allowed to eat or else the snow will get us. Or something. The real question is: how many more hours can I stall Dan re: shoveling?

Tuesday, 3pm (1/27)

New Hampshire boyfriend in snow gear about to go shovel? Boner inducing.
New Hampshire boyfriend in snow gear about to go shovel? Boner inducing.

Ahh, yes. It’s all going according to plan.

Tuesday, 5pm (1/27)
I thought I’d gotten out of shoveling, but now our neighbors are out there and they’ve basically done half the driveway. They don’t need any more excuses not to like us (besides us blasting “Run Like an Antelope” in our apartment at 3am) so I have to go out there and at least half-assedly shovel the back porch.

Tuesday Night (1/27)
While it’s still lightly snowing outside, it seems the worst is over. We probably have around 3 feet on the ground, which is a fuck ton, but the three of us are happy and healthy in our Waltham abode. Hope you’re safe out there, too! Until next time.

Comments

Dp
Reply

Half-assedly shovel? I don’t think so

Rochelle
Reply

Have I mentioned how much I hate winter?

Charlotte
Reply

The storm hit somewhere, as predicted, after all.

I hope the inconvenience to those affected is minimal, though it seems quite serious on Nantucket, and other locations in MA and further northeast.

I wish you all well.

Rochelle
Reply

Pissed that Dad can’t see you shoveling…or can he? *prompt creepy music to play*

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