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This is messed up

OK, Mom, don’t even read this, because I already know how upset you’ll get.

According to the Associated Press, Santino, a 31-year-old chimpanzee at the Furuvik Zoo in Stockholm, Sweden, has confirmed researchers’ theory that chimpanzees have the ability to plan ahead. So what’s Santino been up to? Is he making dates with chimp chicks? Saving his cash to buy extra bananas? Oh, wait …

The alpha male started building his weapons cache in the morning before the zoo opened, collecting rocks and knocking out disks from concrete boulders inside his enclosure. He waited until around midday before he unleashed a “hailstorm” of rocks against visitors.

“These observations convincingly show that our fellow apes do consider the future in a very complex way,” said the author of the report, Lund University Ph.D. student Mathias Osvath. “It implies that they have a highly developed consciousness, including lifelike mental simulations of potential events.”

Scientists are pleased that Santino is proving their theory – chimpanzees and other primates, including orangutans and bobonos, have a highly complex consciousness, just like humans. They’ve been studying Santino and his group of chimps at the Furuvik Zoo for more than 10 years and released their findings recently in the science journal Current Biology.

So that’s great. I’m excited about all these scientific advances or whatever, but as a person, I’m disturbed. This poor creature, who exists peaceably with his fellow inmates – err, I mean captives? Zoo residents? – has a consciousness high enough to plan an attack on people. But why oh why would the chimp feel compelled to attack people?

Osvath said the chimpanzee had also been observed tapping on concrete boulders in the park to identify weak parts and then knocking out a piece. If it was too big for throwing, he broke it into smaller pieces, before adding them to his arsenal.

“It is very special that he first realizes that he can make these and then plans on how to use them,” Osvath said. “This is more complex than what has been showed before.”

For a while, zoo keepers tried locking Santino up in the morning so he couldn’t collect ammunition for his assaults, but he remained aggressive. They ultimately castrated him in autumn of last year.

“It is normal behavior for alpha males to want to influence their surroundings … It is extremely frustrating for him that there are people out of his reach who are pointing at him and laughing,” Osvath said. “It cannot be good to be so furious all the time.”

Poor baby! Oh, poor baby. I won’t lie, chimpanzees, orangutans, monkeys are the one animal I don’t like. Not to generalize, but after seeing the trailer for “Outbreak,” I’ve always been convinced they are malevolent and have weird viruses. But I’m practically paralyzed with heartbreak for poor Santino and ANY caged creature.

Also, we’re finding that chimpanzees are not just logical, but crafty. And we are pointing and laughing like a total sixth-grade bully. … Great idea.

Here are some cute baby animals.

Este
skeinstreet.blogspot.com

Comments

angela
Reply

i must admit that pug is looking mighty cute in that shirt. *cue jackie making some weird noise/expression*

anyway that’s very sad and also makes me feel weird inside. or maybe that’s from something else. wait what? *runs away*

Rochelle
Reply

Words escape me… and people wonder why I stopped eating meat.

Pat
Reply

Mrs.Bunt,you dont eat meat? You’re a veggie……. Bad Ass! I’m thinking of trying it, but I fear those drunken nights where I’ll crave Wendy’s or McDonalds. Would drunken fast-food nights count as cheating for a vegetarian?? It’s like getting drunk and smoking after quitting cigarettes. Or getting drunk at a bar and going home a with a girl that’s a bit chubby. It all doesn’t count on your record. Does it?

Either way, I’m inspired that you don’t meat. When did you quit eating meat? And what prompted you to do so? I’m intrigued!

As for the cute baby animal pictures, loved them all and for different reasons. Picture #1) I don’t what that hell that animal is, but it looks like a stuffed animal, therefore, it is cute. 2) If Jackie made a noise when saw the pug, she’s not alone. That looks like my Pugsly when he was just a little puppy dog. And that’s a sweet-ass shirt the pug is wearing. I’d buy it in my size. #3)That beautiful kitty is trying to give a “fist pound” to the cameraman. If that’s not a down cat, then there’s no such thing as being down. #4) Usually a baby turtle wouldn’t do it for me, but then I remembered the Ninja Turtles. So very cool. But doesn’t it look like the lady wearing the ring in the picture is about to drop baby turtle down a sink or toilet? That’s definitely some porcelain in the background. That may have been the very last picture ever taken of the turtle before it was drained. If you look at the turtle’s expression, it does look like it’s thinking, “Will somebody fucking help me, for christ’s sake!”

Anyways, good stuff all around from this post and thread. I recommend the Bunts start thinking about having a “Baby Animal Picture Of The Day” feature on their site. That…and a webisode series. Just saying…

rochelle
Reply

ok Patrick.. you really need to stop calling me Mrs. Bunt.

Pat
Reply

OK Rochelle, I’ve never really spoken with you. We’ve exchanged pleasantries a couple times, BUTTTTT… I’ve only really chilled with ur daughters. Therefore, since I know ur daughters, but I really don’t know you, u will be Mrs. Bunt. It’s either very gentleman-ly of me or very rude. Either way, it’s all I know, Mrs. Bunt….I mean … Rochelle!

Daddo
Reply

Ok Pat. Getting too familiar with my wife? Time for an ass beating.

M.S.
Reply

Yes, he has no bananas…

big daddy
Reply

here’s a radical thought….stop locking monkeys up in cages and maybe they won’t end up throwing poo and rocks at folks.

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