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idaknow wtf this thing is [by jelly blumenthal]

missing link

Evolution or Adam and Eve?

Either one works for me, just be able to prove it. I would love to know that I came from a retard that wasn’t content enough with roaming around all day with nobody there to judge him and do whatever the eff he wanted (ahem, Adam), but how are you going to prove that to me?

As for the whole humans developing from monkeys aspect of evolution — well hey, you got fossils, that’s a start.

Either way, nobody on the face of this planet has absolute proof as to where we definitely came from. However, there is some more evidence that has recently been brought to light. This evidence is the discovery of a new fossil named Ida.

“‘The fossil…bridges the evolutionary split between higher primates such as monkeys, apes, and humans and their more distant relatives such as lemurs.’

‘This is the first link to all humans,’ Hurum, of the Natural History Museum in Oslo, Norway, said in a statement. Ida represents ‘the closest thing we can get to a direct ancestor.'” (National Geographic News)

Essentially, Ida is the creature that was alive around the era of cavemen and monkeys. It has all the traits of an animal but more humanistic features.

“The lemur-like skeleton features primate-like characteristics, including grasping hands, opposable thumbs, clawless digits with nails, and relatively short limbs.” (National Geographic News)

OK, maybe a human banged a monkey-like animal and produced this retarded offspring. Or maybe two monkeys had a child monkey with retarded features. Once again, it is a fossil with no proof of what it was exactly. Unless you can hold a full conversation with this fossil and he/she/it can tell you what it was, then I’m not sold. I understand fossils are all we have left and we should have hope and beliefs, yadda yadda yadda, but come on. Is this new fossil going to be the revelation that society needed to make their lives complete?

Cool fossil, no doubt about that. But what now? I’m sure we will continue to find old shit in the ground for years to come and we will continue to make theories as to what they are and what they came from. But I have never met this creature and I have never seen actual footage of a living humanimal. Until I do, I will continue to disbelieve all this propaganda.

Comments

jackie
Reply

aw they look cute.. I wanna be a IDA!

xtina
Reply

jelly’s first article!! wwooooo

rochelle
Reply

Such a skeptic! I love it. I can tell you’re from Jersey.

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