My kids know, my mother knows, most of my co-workers know. I am addicted to The Howard Stern Show. Not such a big deal except I am a 53 year old, middle class female. Now don’t get me wrong, I can live without the bits that involve strippers and hookers but to be honest they are not that frequent and that’s always a good time to actually shower and get ready for work. Oh, who am I kidding? I bring the speaker into the bathroom with me so I don’t miss even a second of the show. I even listen to the wrap up show and repeats on the weekends to catch what I missed when I was at work.
The Stern show is my soap opera. I know all the characters and their problems. Artie relapsed and started doing heroin again but he went to rehab and is clean now. He is FINALLY seeing a therapist. We all hope he and Dana will get back together but there is the dog issue… Howard and Beth got married recently after being together eight years. Howard swears he won’t have anymore kids but he swore he wouldn’t get married again so…. Sal is still married but miserable, Ralph is single and won’t take a lie detector test to prove he isn’t a thief, Richard will do “gay” things to be entertaining for the show but swears he isn’t gay, and so on and so forth….Gary, and Robin, and Fred, and the Wack Pack, and all the others. I need to know who did what over vacation, I need to hear about the wedding and what Sal and Lisa did since they weren’t invited.
See, it isn’t just naked women and gross stuff. It is stories and humor and drama and craziness of everyday life, in a life that I am not part of but I know ALL about.
Sometimes I think Howard is an ass because he has some really old fashioned ideas (for real!) but the man is a genious for what he has created.
Some nights the TV never gets turned on and my husband and I just lay in bed listening to the Stern show AGAIN. Like watching a rerun of a favorite show.
I wonder if Howard would be surprised if he knew.